Author Archives: avynkaren

About avynkaren

Hello world! Welcome to my blog! My name is Avyn and I have created this blog to inspire others. Writing is therapeutic and I am using this blog as my therapy. I yearn to be a famous writer one day, not necessarily a reporter or an author, just simply be known as a writer. I enjoy life and everyone in it. Some call me crazy but hey, you have one life to live have fun! Enjoy my blog!!

One Love

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This may be the shortest blog I ever post but that’s ok. I need to get straight to the point right now.

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The world we live in is ridiculous. I seriously wish I grew up and lived in an age where people loved more and hated less. The crime, the hate, the madness, the destruction— all of it is crazy to me.

I don’t understand why people are still basing whether they will interact with a person because of their religious beliefs, color of their skin, sexual orientation, political beliefs, and other personal choices. STOP DOING THIS! It is ignorant. Get to know people and learn to love them for who they are as a person.

Why are police killing innocent people?  STOP DOING THIS! This is not the reason for the judicial system. We turn to law enforcement to feel safe, but who can you trust when you can’t trust the people in uniform who are suppose to make you feel safe?

Why are teenagers selling drugs and walking around with guns on their hips? Teach your children to STOP DOING THIS! Educate them on the importance of not engaging in the “street” life. Teach them appreciate things and the value of a legitimate lifestyle.

We have to come together as a nation to stop the madness. Life is hard, yes of course, but we need people to start loving each other and understanding the importance of life and love. The world is becoming ridiculous but if we all come together we can make a change.

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Just a little insight from the things I’ve been thinking about lately. One love to all….spread love, kill hate!

Click this awesome youtube video below. It is amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qz5wsF8jr-g

Hip Hop Soldier

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Music is one of those things that can change us. When we are sad it can lift us up, when we are happy it can literally move us. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy music. There is a genre for just about everyone. My music taste is pretty unlimited. From country to hip hop from reggae to pop, I can sing along to just about anything.

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Today I want to take a deeper look into the world of hip-hop. Some people listen to hip-hop for the beat others for the lyrics. When speaking of hip-hop on a lyrical side of things one specific artist comes to mind, Rasheed Iman.

I met the Carolina native several years ago and instantly new something was different about him. Unlike some mainstream artists, Rasheed Iman is that he isn’t trying to put on a “show” by conforming to the sounds and stories that may conform to what is popular. When I sat down and spoke to the army soldier I asked him what his purpose was and his answer was simple, “I want to tell my story in hopes that it impacts others the way artists such as Nas, J. Cole, and others have impacted me.”

 

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His album T.R.U.T.H—The Real Understand The Hustle focuses on his transformation from guy off the streets to becoming not only a man but also a father. The hip-hop artist prides himself on his song Straight Up because it addresses the responsibility he feels he has a man.  “I could’ve easily focused on the negative parts of my life for entertainment purposes but instead when I do touch on it, it’s with the hope that whom ever is going or gone threw the same doesn’t feel alone,” he explained.

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Constantly writing and collaborating with other local talent, Rasheed released his mix tape  April 6th, which is his daughter’s birthday because he says she is his purpose and the reason he does what he does.  Each song he writes is a personal truth and digs into the everyday struggles that come along with relationships, being a man, and family.

You can download his songs completely free on iTunes, Rasheediman.com, as well as

http://www.reverbnation.com/rasheediman and I would do it sooner than later because he is a very talented guy.

Friend or Foe?

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There is a saying that individuals will only have a handful of true friends in their entire lifetime.  If one person believes that’s true, it’s me. I remember being a teenager and wanting any and eveybody to like me. It may be one of those little things we do in our not fully matured mind to feel accepted and wanted.

The older (and wiser) I’ve become, the more I keep people at a distance. When I reflect on my life and the people I’ve “befriended” the more clarification I get that more than half of the people  I thought would be lifelong friends are no where to be found.

On the flip side, I have a number of friends, that no matter what have never turned their backs on me. Yes, we have our disagreements from time to time but who doesn’t. We still embrace our uniqueness and love each other no matter what and for that I am blessed. My friends are the therapist and family I choose.

After being used and taken advantage of by so many people, I’ve learned that it is important to know what qualities you yearn for in a friendship in order to avoid wasting time with people who will never add any value to your life.

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Qualities of  a GOOD friend 

  • Honesty- I am an honest person and expect nothing less when I call someone my friend. That’s the biggest thing I look for when making friends. If you can’t tell me the truth, then I don’t want to be a part of your life. My friends for the most part tell me the truth as oppose to what I want to hear and I have always respected them for that.
  • Reliability- I am terrible when it comes to making plans, but when I plan to do something with someone I do it. Not only when it comes to planning, I can also rely on each one of my true friends for anything, whether it be a shoulder to cry on, a ride after a night out, or place to crash, and would do anything and everything for them as well.
  • Sense of humor- I love to laugh therefore I can’t be friends with people who are serious 24/7. 90% of the time I spend with my friends is spent laughing—inside jokes, general discussions, and everything in between. Nothing beats thinking of a friend and immediately smiling because of something funny they said or a silly gesture.
  • Forgiving- As friends, we aren’t going to always get along. That is ok. We are human which means we will make mistakes. When we make mistakes or argue with our friends, it is crucial to be forgiven. I am blessed in the aspect that I don’t argue much with my friends but when I do, I am always forgiven and always forgiving when I feel I have been treated unfairly.
  • Acceptance- Each one of my friends are completely different, which is what makes it completely fun. I strive on the fact that each of my friends accept me for who I am, and not who they want me to be. Being accepted is comforting in a friendship. It feels good to be around people who allow you to be yourself and not pretend to be anything more.

Red Flags of TOXIC Friends

  • Selfish- When you befriend a selfish person, it almost will immediately raise a red flag. Avoid people in your life who constantly ask you do for them, yet when you are in need, they are no where to be found. I’ve experienced this first hand. Can I have a ride here? Can I borrow this? Can you do this for me?  These types of constant questions, are extremely common in a selfish person. I am all about helping and favors, but there is only so much help I can offer when a person doesn’t help themselves. Believe me when I say, selfish people make the worst friends.
  • Dishonest- Sometimes people easily disguise themselves with lies. Ever met a person, thought they were amazing but then slowly discovered they weren’t who they claimed to be? They lied about something as lithe as what they ate for dinner or as big as how many children they have. These are traits of a dishonest person. I believe that if you can’t tell me the truth, we shouldn’t be friends, period.
  • Negative- I try to avoid people who constantly are negative because it tends to subliminal make me negative. We all have struggles in life, but we have to learn to deal with them head on in the most positive way possible in order to keep our sanity. “Debbie downers” in my opinion can be just as toxic as selfish individuals. I would try my best to avoid them if you are trying to live a stress free life.
  • Bad Influence- We all know someone who is a trouble maker. The bottom line is if you engage in activity or behavior that you know isn’t morally, legally, or ethically ok, it will eventually catch up with you. I have people I care about a lot but they are constantly in trouble with the law. I keep them at a distance, being friendly with them yet knowing if they get in trouble and I am with them, the outcome will be terrible.  As an adult you know right from wrong, so be smart about who you allow in your home and even your life.
  • Dramatic- One thing I hate with a passion is drama. I have 0 tolerance for it to be quite frank. I can honestly say that most of my good friends are the same way. I have been friends with people who always have drama in their life and it is exhausting. Why should you have to avoid certain places and people you don’t even know because your “friend” will get me? The answer is you shouldn’t nor do you have to.

images-1In life we are going to encounter a number of people in our lives. There is nothing wrong with being friendly with everyone however keep in mind that not everyone has the same motives as you. Be mindful and remember who to call a friend and who to call a foe.

Bachelorette Bonanza!

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Being a social butterfly, it is probably not shocking that I absolutely LOVE bachelorette parties!  It is one of the last times you get to go all out before the bride says “I do”. I recently went on a trip to Atlanta (awesome city by the way) for my lifetime friend Casey’s bachelorette party.  We had a ball.

Below are some fun ideas for planning bachelorette festivities.

Spoil the bride.

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No matter what, it is essential to make sure the bride to be feels special. This is all about her so make it a pleasantly wonderful memory for her. Whether it be a relaxing spa day or a night out on the town, make sure to keep her feeling fabulous. One thing I thought was adorable was having Casey’s fiancé write her little notes (some were funny some were sweet) and we would give them to her randomly on our trip.  Here is a cute picture of her reading one before we hit the road.

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Designate a dress code.

One way to make bachelorette parties fun are by coming up with a dress code. When my friend Blair got married we all wore black and had fun glasses and she wore the outfit of her choice. with a cute veil and sash.

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Another adorable idea my friend Jennifer had was making each person who came to her uptown Charlotte festivity wear a tutu. In my opinion,  it was super precious and unique.

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I’ve also seen people get t-shirts made, all wear pink, and other similar things, but you can easily custom the dress code to type of person the party is for.

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Play games. 

I have played some funny games at bachelorette parties. One of my favorites is  the balloon game.

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BALLOON GAME:

  • Write down different things the bride to be is required to do before the night ends. (For example, get a stranger to take a shot with her, do a funny dance, get a kiss on the cheek, and other silly things)
  • Insert the instructions in to a balloon.
  • Blow up the balloons and place them on the outfit of the bride to be.
  • When you go out the bride must have all of the balloons popped and completed each task written down or else she has to take a shot.

Try new places.

When we went to Atlanta everything was new to us so we let the bride to be pick a few spots we stumbled upon or we have heard about from friends and checked them out. If you are ever in the Midtown area of Atlanta,  I would definitely recommend the Steamhouse Lounge (amazing seafood) and Publik Draft House (extensive cocktail menu).

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Be smart and safe.

If heavily drinking will be involved always remember your body needs food and water. Do not over do it. You don’t want to end up with your face in the toilet all night or passed out before sunset. Also DO NOT drink and drive. Take cabs, plan a stay in slumber party, or go to places in walking distance of you.

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Most importantly HAVE FUN!

The Simple Life

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First of all, I want to apologize for disappearing for so long. The past year of my life has undoubtedly been the year of change for me,and quite frankly blogging was the last thing on my mind. A good friend of mine whom I’ve recently reconnected with reminded me of how much I enjoyed writing and gave be the kick in the ass I needed to get back into it. So here I am and let me tell you it feels great to be back at it.

So today I was driving down the road. The windows were down, and my music was blasting. It was an absolutely beautiful Carolina day when I passed by my childhood neighborhood. I wanted to ride by the house I grew up in but of course, I was running late so that was a negative. As I passed the road that leads into the neighborhood, I started thinking about how different life is for kids now a days.

Children today really have no clue what they are missing. Technology has taken away from the fun stuff being a kid is all about. Don’t get me wrong, I think technology is helpful in certain situations, but it has taken away from the interaction and communication children need in life.

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When I was a kid I used to LOVE being outside but these days, less children are outside playing. I don’t get it. I think kids these days don’t appreciate the simple things because they are too concerned about the newest app to download or game to get for their gaming system.

For me and my childhood friends walking around the neighborhood was the best thing in the world. I look back and so many memories were made by simply knocking from door to door to gather our group of friends and being gone until dark.

Riding our bikes, climbing trees, talking about boys, playing basketball, picking honeysuckles, jumping on trampolines, making pit stops along the way at the best houses for snacks and heading right back out side to continue planning sleep overs, kicking soccer balls, talking about skate night, catching lightening bugs, getting lost in the woods we weren’t suppose to be in until we heard our mothers scream our names from a few streets over wrapping up our time together outside for the day—those were the days.

We didn’t ask for much just each other’s company and a later curfew. That’s when life was so simple.

 

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Little Lessons in Life

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You are naive if you believe life is going to be perfect all the time. Sometimes life throws curve balls and we have to learn how to hit a home run instead of strike out. I have recently experienced some intense situations in my life. Some I dealt with fairly easily, whileothers have taken me much longer to understand. In the past few years, I have had to learn to remove the negative energy and excuses for why things may be tough and revert it into positive energy and life lessons.

Little Life Lessons

1.  LOVE your family and friends. Don’t just tell them, show them. Take the 2 hour trip to visit your boring grandmother, or call your mom and listen to how tough her day was at work. The people you call family and friends are there for you, so show them how special they are to you. Our days are numbered, and I, personally want my parents, siblings, nieces, friends, etc. to know how important they are to me. We are all busy, but even if you take 10 minutes out of your day to call up someone in your family you haven’t spoken to in a while, or a friend you went to school with, just to see how they are doing and let them know how important they are to you can truly make a person’s day. I know this because, it makes my day when the phone rings and I hear my sweet nieces, or silly sister’s voice on the other end.

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2. Don’t let RELATIONSHIPS consume you. I feel as if some people get too comfortable in relationships. I’m not knocking the idea of love but be sure to be able to love yourself prior to loving another person. If you are honest with yourself and aren’t happy some times as hard as it may be, you have to end the relationship for not only you but also the other person. I recently ended a pretty lengthy relationship due to the fact that I felt as if it consumed me and hindered my future progress as an individual. There was no “cheating”,  I didn’t “hate” him, and there was no major fight to end things. I simply felt my heart wasn’t in it nor was it fair to keep someone in my life because I was “comfortable”. It’s ok sometimes to be uncomfortable for a moment to get your focus where it needs to be. I believe one of the main reasons it has been a mental challenge for him to move on is because he felt as if I was his life. He was an amazing person who no doubt loved me dearly but when things ended, it was difficult for him to stand on his own two feet which in turn made it more difficult for him to move forward.

3. Learn to be INDEPENDENT. I have been pretty blessed to have both a  supportive and encouraging family. My parents have taught me the importance of valuing what you have and hard work. These lessons have molded me into being an independent person. I like being on my own and not asking approval before doing what I want to do. I’m an adult who works hard therefore everything I have done and things I’ve experienced are because I worked for them. I take care of myself and my dog and at the end of the day that’s all I am responsible for. Of course I have had financial set backs, but luckily I have a great support system who will help me get back on track when I may struggle, but I find it important for people to be able to do things for themselves. I think some people may fear being uncomfortable and never learn to do things for themselves.

4. Be MINDFUL of who you let in. Certain people, for example, your family and friends, of course you are going to talk to  about certain things going on in your life, but not everyone you meet needs to know about your personal issues. Some people talk too much while others don’t talk enough. I am very out going and hang out with a lot of people but at the same time, I don’t let certain people I hang out with know too much about me. It’s not that I am being mean or sneaky, it’s because I have learned that people have to earn the right to get to know me. I have let a lot of people in, especially in my early 20s that I should have never talked to or considered a friend. It happens. Some people change while others were never true.  Humans, not all but some, are jealous creatures. Some people hate to see other people doing well, but that shouldn’t stop you from allowing those who do want you to succeed be a part of your experiences.

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5. Be APPRECIATIVE. No matter how tough something is don’t forget to appreciate all of the good in your life. Whether it be the sun shining  on a summer day or a  job promotion, never forget how lucky you are to have what you have!

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Crazy Kids

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It is no secret amongst my friends and family, that kids and I have a love/hate relationship.

For the longest time, I could not stand children. Being around them didn’t interest me one bit. Literally the only kid I really liked was my niece. I think being around her set the bar of how I feel like a lot of kids should act, smart and respectful.

Well maybe with maturity and understanding, I have softened up tremendously. I’m still not convinced if motherhood is in my future, kids are not that bad. The older I get the more I people I know and love are having children. Seeing the love my friends have for their children is awesome. I think  personally for me experiencing being an aunt amongst family as well as friends, has changed the way I look at children. Think about it. Being an influence in a child’s life is rewarding. You are helping them learn new things, experience a new perspective of life, and visit new places. You get to see them grow from a baby who just sleeps, cries, and poops, to a person with their own personality. It can be pretty entertaining at times. Kids are cute, they are smart and they are funny.

I respect parents. I know your job isn’t easy. All that I ask is that parents teach their children to love, be respectful, and never give up on their dreams.

Sweet faces I love…

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